Finding Balance in the Wise Mind

Today in group we discussed finding balance between the rational mind and the emotional mind. The rational mind is very logical and fact based, rational in making decisions, intellectual and assertive.  It can also be critical and blunt.  Behaviors displayed by someone living in the rational mind can include being strategic, rigid, desensitized, and controlling.  The rational minded person is a problem solver but often views things in black or white, all or nothing, and can sometimes be robotic, guarded, or in denial.  The rational mind is objective in nature. Conversely, the emotional mind is expressive and sensitive, subjective in nature, and makes decisions based on emotions rather than facts.  Behaviors seen in the emotional minded person can include being reactive and impulsive.  This person might be more introspective, internalizing and personalizing things; they may disqualify the positive and be lonely.  Overgeneralization isn't uncommon and the emotional mind may be more prone to catastrophizing.  Euphoria and grandiosity might also be seen here.  Emotionally minded people might also be seen as being erratic or irrational.  The goal in finding balance is to search for that sweet spot where the two minds overlap forming the wise mind.  This is where decisions and actions are grounded in reality, taking into account both the rational and emotional perspectives.  The wise mind is flexible and compromising, in control, patient, understanding, and insightful.  It encompasses both the objective and subjective viewpoints and acts as a judge between the two to come up with the right course of action.  Wise minded people always have options and consider needs versus wants when deciding on what direction to go.  The wise mind is the optimal state of being and provides the greatest level of balance.  This is where I want to be but have a lot of work to do in order to get there.

I am most definitely and emotionally minded person.  I display all of its classic negative aspects.  I constantly overgeneralize and catastrophize, discounting any of the good and always leaning toward the bad.  I give too much credence to what other people, and society in general, might think about me.  I personalize everything and take responsibility for how other people feel, even when it's not about me at all.  Friends have pointed out that I often say I'm sorry too much, usually out of habit.  I'm certainly sensitive and carry a lot of blame, guilt and shame on my shoulders.  I'm rarely, if ever, in the rational mind it seems.  I'm not normally logical and don't make decisions based on factual information very often.  I wish I could be more analytical and objective in my thinking, especially about myself.  Hell, I'd even settle for some of the emotional mind's grandiosity and euphoria sometimes!  I suppose this blog does bring out the narcissist in me and provides me something that I do feel exceptionally good about.  This is my starting point.  For some people, both minds are utilized to some extent or another and these folks probably find it easier to achieve that middle ground.  For me, I think I need to work on my rational mind so that I can begin to see where they overlap.  The wise mind takes into account both sides of the equation so I think you really have to develop both the rational and emotional in order to strike that wise mnd balance.  My work will entail a lot of undoing one side while building up the other.  I certainly don't want to be cold and calculating with no emotion whatsoever, but rather get to a place where I can incorporate both the emotional and rational minds into my thought processes.  Only then will I be able to begin living in the wise mind.  Balance is the goal and even though I have a long way to go it's worth the effort!  I'm worth the effort!