Bizarre Dreams

For almost all of my life I've been able to say that I don't remember my dreams.  I'm not sure why this has usually been the case since I like to consider myself a creative person in general, but for whatever reason I guess I'm not the dreamer I liked to imagine I am.  I have no doubt I dream and always have, it's just that I don't normally remember them.  The only time I can think of that my dreams were truly notable was when I took Chantix in order to quit smoking years back.  It turns out this was a well known side effect of the medication so I was able to write off any weird dreams I had to that.  For some reason this past couple of weeks seems to have changed my norm.  I am having the most incredibly vivid and truly bizarre ongoing dreams I've ever had in my whole life.  I can't explain them at all but so far they have included being part of a medieval royal wedding of sorts while simultaneously trying to make sure that dozens of donuts covered in this incredibly scrumptious cream cheese icing got delivered to a totally unrelated church in another time period.  Interlaced with these storylines I took part in designing an addition to yet another church building that was surrounded by a high school which included an apocalyptic prison section at its center.  I was required go undercover in order to infiltrate and control the drug influenced population, all while ensuring adequate space is being added on for some Sunday school programs.  I realize none of this makes any sense whatsoever and I'm trying to wrap my head around where some of these images are coming from.  The only common item or theme that I can pinpoint revolves around church architecture.  I haven't changed or added any medications to my regimen at all.  I can only assume that I'm being plagued by these incredibly strange nocturnal story lines because of the two significant life events I am currently undergoing, quitting smoking and preparing for major surgery.

It's hard to believe not smoking in and of itself would have such an effect on my dreams.  I've attempted to quit numerous times in the past and the only time my dreams were impacted had to do with the medication I was taking at the time.  This time I'm quitting cold turkey, completely unaided by any medications or nicotine replacement therapy.  I've also dealt with stress a great deal throughout my life and have never noticed any correlation between stressful situations and my dreams, at least when it comes to remembering them.  I've always heard that you only remember dreams that you wake up during.  I have no idea if there's any truth to this at all, but maybe I've just never been one to wake during a dream and for some reason that's changing.  I do find that my sleep of late has been exceptionally erratic and I wake up more frequently than is my normal.  It seems that I wake up every couple of hours, even if it results only in turning over and going right back to sleep.  Maybe waking up more often has an impact on what I remember of my dream states.  Perhaps my dreams are always this bizarre and I just never recognized it because I usually don't remember them.  It may also be true that the stress I'm feeling is significantly different than anything I've experienced before.  Accepting the reality of having had a heart attack and coming to terms with knowing that someone I barely know is going to cut and saw open my chest and actually hold my heart in his hands does kind of make other forms of stress seem somewhat insignificant.  I don't recommend this kind of stress; it really eats away at you.  Looking back on the past few weeks I honestly think it would be better to be told what is needed and then just get it done without having to wait.  As Tom Petty once mused, the waiting is the hardest part!  He had a very good point there!  As I tick off the days and we're down to one week left before surgery I'm hoping that the anomaly of remembering my dreams in any detail other than faint recollections here and there comes to an end.  It has been entertaining to say the least, but many of the images and storylines have been somewhat disturbing so I'm not anxious for them to continue.  Either way, only one week left to endure the unknown.