Adding To The Mix And Digging Deeper

Today was my first visit with my new individual counselor.  Recommendations from both doctors and my group have told me that establishing a relationship with a therapist can be a trial and error situation and that not all counselors are going to be a good fit.  After today's session I think I hit the ball out of the park with my choice.  She is someone that I already feel very safe with when it comes to sharing and I have confidence that I won't have any issues really opening up with her so we can work on all of the issues that need attention.  She is soft spoken, yet I already have the feeling she won't hesitate to kick me in the ass when that's needed and deserved, and I know that's pretty much what I need at this point.  The initial plan is two sessions weekly intermixed with group meetings, and of course periodic medication checks with the doctor thrown in for good measure.  Even though I'm not inpatient any more, right now it seems like therapy is still my full time focus and I think that's a good thing.  It has been a revelation to me just how many things have emerged and come to the surface throughout this whole process.  If you would have asked me what led to hitting that darkest place and signaled the necessity for intensive intervention I would have asserted firmly that it was my health issues combined with being off work and without income while the short term disability claim gets hashed out.  But I now recognize that these circumstances were just the final culminating events that triggered a mountain of suppressed issues, some of which I wasn't even aware were still lingering.

The first three individual sessions consist of an intensive intake assessment and will help to more clearly define the issues that we will be working on as well as setting goals for progress.  I know there are going to be painful and gut wrenching sessions to follow as we get into some of those raw and festering emotions and feelings that have been just under the surface.  As much as I'd love to just ignore some of them in hopes they will resolve and disappear on their own, I know that isn't a realistic expectation.  There will be some pretty tough work that needs to be done and, along with the homework assigned by my group, I will also have outside work to do from my one on one sessions as well.  I'm sure some of that work might be thought through and processed in this forum and I will state in advance that I appreciate the indulgence readers give me here in order to do so.  I promise postings will not be limited to such content and I will be including some fun and frivolous subject matter into the mix as well, so I leave it up to my virtual audience to decide for themselves what is relevant and meaningful, and even what might be humorous and enjoyable.  I admit it still boggles my mind just how many people out there are actually visiting and keeping up with what I have to contribute and I'm grateful for every single one of you out there!  I feel as though I have an additional cyber support system that supplements the close friends and family that continue to help and encourage me along the way.

On a totally unrelated subject, I also very sincerely appreciate the patience of those following this blog as I continue to work on the overall design, look and feel of the space.  My goal is to hone a more professional and user friendly appearance with a more flexible functionality.  Today I switched to what they call a dynamic view design.  Hopefully you find it more pleasant and easier to navigate.  The sidebar has been updated so it's not automatically visible but simply hover over the right edge and those tools will pop up.  This is also where you can sign up for email updates if desired.  Also, the toolbar across the top just below the title now has a drop down option that defaults to Classic.  There are other options that allow each reader to customize the view they see so people can choose what works best for them.  I hope you have as much fun checking out the different options as I did putting it together.  Personally, I find a couple of the options a little too busy for my taste, but whatever works for each reader is the most important thing.  As always, please feel free to drop me an email if you want to provide general feedback or suggestions.  There is a link to my email on the About Me section.  Thanks again, from the bottom of my heart, for reading and considering what I have to offer and express within these pages.  I hope to continue to earn your ongoing readership and support!