Halloween is upon us

Halloween is fast approaching and, though fall is my absolute favorite time of year, and while I have had fun here and there in years past, I've never been a really big fan of this particular holiday.  Perhaps it's my deep rooted paranoia or possibly bad childhood memories, I'm not sure, I just know that Halloween truly does creep me out more than most people.  It could have to do with societal changes as well.  I remember when I was young it seemed that we were either oblivious to or just not aware of the truly crazy people out there, like serial killers and crazed psychopaths.  I guess because these seem to be much more common these days, Halloween represents a time when people dress up in costumes and are sometimes unrecognizable.  You can't tell the difference between a wholesome trick-or-treater and a lunatic about to add their tenth victim to their repertoire, which makes me completely uneasy and much less likely to participate in the events of the day.  I know there are many people out there who don't give it a second thought, and especially those with younger children really get into it.  I have one friend who dives in head first to the festive milieu and goes all out to the point of resembling those classic Halloween episodes of Roseanne.  For whatever reason, for me it's a day to stay locked in my condo having no intentions of answering the door without being confident who it is first.  As far as I know I've never been accosted by monsters, devoured by demons, dined on by zombies, or greeted by ghosts, so I'm really not sure where my feelings about All Hallows Eve come from.  Could this be a totally irrational fear with no basis in merit?  Did I take too seriously the parental warnings from my childhood about poison candy and razor blades in apples?  Did anything like that ever really happen to anyone or is that all a giant urban legend perpetrated on children to further scare the bejeezus out of them and cause permanent mental scarring they will carry into adulthood?

The whole concept of me being so freaked out on Halloween is kind of unfathomable since I have a moderate interest in good scary movies.  You'd think that would translate well into getting truly excited about the holiday and jumping into the spirit willingly and wantonly, but for me it just isn't so.  I look forward to it being over and normally shy from any social interaction until it is, out of an abundance of caution.  I enjoy many of the other holidays and especially love Thanksgiving through New Years day.  Perhaps I just prefer special days that don't involve having the crap scared out of me, which is wholly unlikely to happen on those more tame occasions.  Come to think of it, I also have a aversion to April Fools Day as well, not from the standpoint of being scared or worrying about crazed psychopathic nut jobs, but I admit that being a somewhat gullible person and hate being the target of zingers.  Maybe I'm just getting old.  I'm sure I must have some good memories from Halloween somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I just can't recall them at the moment.  I have some traumatizing memories of Panther's Hollow back in Ohio, which I will likely go into in another posting, and a haunted hayride that left me almost in tears from fright.  Why is it that, much like I'm finding in therapy, the bad memories are so easily recalled while the good ones are more difficult to muster up?  I also think that my patience and tolerance for children, except for the wonderful munchkins of my friends of course, is almost non-existent and I just can't get excited about the hype of trick-or-treating.  Maybe once I work out some of my other issues I can take a deeper look into my psyche to find some answers.  Unfortunately there are more pressing priorities so that will have to wait and I'll just ride out the holiday barricaded in my bunker.  For those who do celebrate, though, Happy Halloween!