Being Thankful

Yes I'm a day late, but I'm thankful nonetheless.  This hasn't been my best year by far, having been plagued with ongoing health issues and spiraling down to the now well chronicled depths of despair and hopelessness.  For most of the year I didn't feel like I had a whole lot to be grateful for.  I know this wasn't the case and that it was just a matter of not recognizing the blessings and advantages I have in my life, but that's the funny thing about depression, it can cloud judgement to the point that only one solution seems feasible.  Unfortunately I got to that dark place and came dangerously close to exercising that final solution.  I'm so thankful, especially this year, that I was brought back from the brink and set on a path of healing and recovery, one which remains ongoing for sure, but progress has most definitely been made.  I still have struggles ahead of me and I still get frustrated and anxious when unexpected challenges pop up here and there and suppose that my always be the case.  This year I'm especially thankful for my family and close friends who supported me through the process and still stand by me as I navigate the hazards along the way.  Without them I simply wouldn't be here to express my gratitude.  In the state in which I ended up I'm sure I would have certainly taken that final step and simply ended it all.  I'm also very grateful for my team of providers that have worked together to help me achieve a sense of normalcy again.  I'm still adjusting to it all and there are good days and bad days, but the good are outnumbering the bad these days.  Ultimately, I'm thankful for my life and having the privilege of continuing to learn, grow and work toward my goals and objectives.  I have found recently that I recognize and value true friendship more than I ever have.  Every person who has touched my life in some meaningful way I now recognize as an angel set in my path by my higher power.  It has become the proof I've sought for so long that God loves and cares about me, something I've struggled with believing all my life.  

I could list the usual things like having a roof over my head and a good job that I enjoy, and I am certainly grateful for those things as well, but this year my gratitude is especially focused on those special people who wouldn't give up on me even when I did, who believed in me even when I didn't, and who propped me up and supported me even when I couldn't.  Without these angels sent from heaven there really wouldn't be much left for me to be thankful for.  I'm always glad when Thanksgiving rolls around.  There is so much about this time of year that makes me feel good.  Being with people I love, cooking a bountiful feast and enjoying the fun and fellowship that ensues, and of course there's the football!  This year I had to stop and think to myself just why it is that, generally speaking, many of us don't think about being grateful and cherishing who and what we have in our lives except for this day that's specifically set apart for that purpose.  Since the new year is approaching and it's tradition to make resolutions, I feel resolved to do my best to recognize the blessings I have and be ever mindful to express gratitude for them.  So many of us spend the rest of the year in self-centered bubbles looking out for number one, so to speak.  I'm just as guilty as anyone of this and I'm adding it to my list of things I'd like to change.  I just hope that my angels know how much they mean to me, especially those who are so close like Jackie, Julie, JK, Tiffany, Melony, and my sister Susan.  There are others of course, but these are the angels who quite literally pulled me back from the brink, saw me through the darkest of times and continue to look after me throughout all of the challenges that still have yet to be resolved.  I love them all so much and hope they know just how much they mean to me.  OK, enough of all the mushiness.  I hope everyone out there had a wonderful Thanksgiving and survived Black Friday.  Now it's on to Christmastime, even though many of the retailers started that tune a couple of months ago.  2015 is rapidly approaching and it's time to prepare for a much better year to come!