Angels Among Us

This time of year I find myself gravitating toward watching all of the touching Christmas movies on the various Hallmark channels.  They tug at the heartstrings and can range from happy to sad, sappy and heartwarming.  I admit I'm a bit of an addict.  They remind me of days gone by and fill my mind with warm memories from my youth.  A common theme in many of these movies has to do with angels, sometimes from heaven but more often the kind that walk among us every day.  So I thought I'd write a little about some of the angels I've had in my life over the years to demonstrate how these earthbound angels have influenced me.  The first true angel I remember was a person I met while in high school.  Her name was Andrea and she worked at the local hospital and health department as a nutritionist.  She also attended the same church I went to at the time.  She befriended me when I needed someone the most at that time.  I didn't have any real friends in school; I was an outcast in many ways and had trouble relating to people my own age.  I've been told on many occasions that I'm an old soul and I think there's something to that.  We had so much fun together and she was the one person I could talk to about things I was going through, depression and anxiety, dealing with my sexual orientation before I came out officially, and even just day to day experiences.  She was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.  I even took her to my senior prom as my date, which I dare say caused a lot of talk at the little Mennonite high school at the time.  She was older and divorced so I had to withstand teachers preaching about the ills of such a relationship.  I think they thought there was something sexual going on; if they only knew!  I've lost touch with her and can only assume that her presence in my life was just for a time, but it was a crucial time when I needed someone who understood me.  Looking back on it, she was the first person that I recognized as someone God put into my life as He knew just what my needs were and how to help me through things.

The next two angels God brought me were Sue and Suzanne respectively.  Sue and I met at a competition I was in where she was a judge.  I remember vividly how we met after the pageant was over and we went back to the hotel at which we were both staying and sat up literally all night talking and getting to know each other.  We became fast friends and it wasn't long before I was welcomed into her family.  Oh the times we spent staying up late and watching movies together.  She'd make popcorn an put it in a big paper bag dripping with butter and salt just the way I loved it.  We'd share everything with each other and she truly became my family.  Whether she knows it or not, she was the first person who helped me feel more comfortable being part of the gay community.  At the time she worked for the Northeast Ohio Task Force on AIDS and was plugged into the scene because of her role as an activist and educator.  Many a night we'd spend in a local bar or club supplying them with free condoms and literature.  I learned so much from her and still cherish our friendship even though it's from a distance now.  Suzanne was my Aetna angel.  We were hired at the same time to open a brand new unit servicing health benefits for Pepsico.  She was a nurse case manager handling disease management and I was a referral and authorization coordinator.  We met our first day at training that was held at the Radisson hotel, sat together and had one of those immediate connections I was beginning to recognize in the various angels.  Our friendship was just meant to be.  We had so much fun together going out to eat and drinking more than a person should be allowed.  There were times that we'd end up praying to the porcelain goddess after a night of debauchery but we always managed to get through it together.  After she moved to Chicago we kept in close touch and I visited her on numerous occasions.  I remember one trip I made to her place in Hyde Park especially well as it was to meet a long time online chat friend Mike, well more than a friend really, face to face for the first time.  Suzanne was so understanding and facilitated the meeting.  She provided a safe space for us to meet and spend time together and the three of us spent a wonderful long weekend exploring Chicago.  Suzanne was the first person who truly made me feel like it was OK to be an out gay man living in a straight world.  She taught me that being true to myself regardless of what others might think or feel was alright.  Like Sue, my relationship with Suzanne is now from a distance but we manage to stay up to date via Facebook.

After I moved to Seattle at the turn of the millennium, I met my Progressive angel Pat, or Mom Pat as I came to know her more deeply.  I was working at Progressive in Cleveland and was offered a claims adjuster position at the Belleview, Washington office.  I had never been to Seattle before and knew absolutely no one.  I moved sight unseen but immediately felt at home as soon as I stepped off the plane.  I loved the breathtaking scenery, the absolute green that covered and surrounded everything, and even the cooler and more damp and rainy climate.  I felt like I belonged there, but not having any friends was a bit of a bummer.  Pat and I met shortly after I started work there but our friendship didn't spark immediately but grew over a short time.  She is one of those people that just exudes the spirit of God and exemplifies a true Christian in everything she does.  I was accepted into her family and she became my only true friend in the Seattle area.  She introduced me to the Folklife festival on Memorial day weekend and we had such fun experiencing all the sights and sounds it had to offer.  It was a little later in our friendship that she shared with me that I reminded her a little bit of her son who was no longer with us.  We discovered that he died on my birthday which only confirmed to both of us that we were meant to meet and be family.  October 9th became a mixed blessing for her as she mourned the loss of her son but gained another to celebrate with.  Our final bonding experience came when I made the decision to move to Phoenix to be close to my mother.  Her family helped me pack and load up the truck and she made the trek with me as we drove the rental from Seattle to Phoenix.  What an adventure that was!  We aren't in close contact anymore but I know she's only a Facebook posting or phone call away.

I've been blessed to have numerous angels come into my life since moving to Phoenix.  The first was Julie.  I had decided to try out a new church as I felt the spirit tugging me in that direction.  I found St. John the Baptist on the internet and was drawn to the Episcopal church in part because of the mystery and ritual involved.  I've always been pulled toward the more Catholic "high church" atmosphere and St. John fit the bill and was in the neighborhood.  On my first visit I went in to the dimly lit sanctuary and took a seat in the back row, out of the way of being noticed.  There were a couple people sitting in front and it wasn't but a minute or two that Julie got up, came back to me and invited me to come forward and join her.  After mass we went for coffee at Starbucks and talked about many things getting to know one another.  Again, there was an instant connection and I knew I had made a great friend.  She's seen me through tough times and is the person most responsible for me feeling welcome as a gay man in the church setting.  I have struggled my whole life with the prospect of being both gay and Christian and for the longest time I felt the two were at odds with each other.  Julie's strong spiritual foundation allowed her to minister to me and help me see that the two aren't mutually exclusive.  I feel honored that I was able to witness her journey as she entered seminary and eventually became an Episcopal priest.  I consider her to be my spiritual advisor as well as one of my best and dearest friends.  I know without doubt that her love for me is unconditional.  I always look forward to our times together when we can have a great meal and talk about literally anything and everything.  Melony is another angel I met and came to know in Phoenix.  We originally connected when she was the office manager for my primary care physician.  There was something about her that drew me in and we started to communicate more and more, eventually going out to eat periodically and having fun together.  She helped me the most after I was laid off from my job of eight years due to a merger with another company.  I looked fruitlessly for other gainful employment but times were difficult in the years after the economy tanked.  She hired me for a scheduling position at SimonMed Imaging when I needed a job and I ended up flourishing there, later advancing to become a Woman's Care Coordinator working with their breast health and mammography program.  I can never thank her enough for being there when I needed it the most and for our ongoing friendship.  She now lives in Utah but we keep in touch periodically through Facebook and, like Pat, I know she's just a phone call or text away.  Sometimes just hearing her voice is all it takes to bring me so much joy and warmth!

Tiffany is my American Express angel.  We originally met out in the smoking area and our conversations were brief and general, but I then had the privilege of working together with her on night shift.  We gradually got to know each other and found that we shared an equally twisted sense of humor.  She made my time at AMEX not only bearable but enjoyable!  We'd sneak out for smokes together and sometimes take off to get a late night lunch at Jack in the Box or some other place that happened to be open in the middle of the night.  She invited me into her home and family openly and freely and we've had some great times just hanging out.  She's another person I can talk about anything with and I know I'll always be accepted and loved.  JK is my football angel.  We first met when I lived in my condo; she was my next door neighbor.  Our first conversations took place as she was out walking her dog.  At first it was just in passing but we shortly began talking at greater length.  She started to come up and hang out with me at my place.  We found we both had a love for football and watched many a game together.  We both hate Tom Brady and the Patriots and both have a venomous hatred for Alabama Crimson Tide.  I'm not sure if she was a Seahawks fan before meeting me but I know she became one if she hadn't been.  We'd wear our Seahawks gear during games and would often yell loudly at the TV when something either good or bad would happen.  We joke to this day about being heard out in the parking lot because we were screaming so loudly.  We enjoy times together having a meal at Denny's, which is in both our budgets.  She's not one to show emotions or feelings but yet I know she loves and cares about me and would move heaven and earth to help if it was in her power.  She's always saying what a bitch she is, but I see a completely different side of her that exudes warmth and caring even though she's not quick to express it.  She's not the most tech savvy person so she routinely calls on me for support and regularly calls me her Geek Squad.  She understands me, warts and all and I know we'll always be friends.

Finally there's Jackie, my guardian angel.  Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself.  I can bear my soul to her and share things I'm thinking I wouldn't normally talk about with many people.  She's adopted me as part of her family like so many of my angels have.  We've done Thanksgivings and Christmases together, cooking as a team in her kitchen preparing a great meal for a motley crew of guests.  She is so patient and kind and has seen me through my various mental health challenges and experiences.  Being a case manager has allowed her to be her genuinely empathetic self.  She checks in on me regularly and we enjoy spending time together, whether it's heading out somewhere to a good meal or simply hanging out at home watching TV and ordering in.  We share a love of good food in abundance and often overindulge, but you have to let yourself go sometimes!  Like Julie, we first met at St. John's but our friendship has grown so much since then.  We literally talk every day at some point, usually in the evening before bed, just catching up on our days and making plans for our next get together.  She meets me where I am in life, even and especially the darker times.  She's the force that keeps me grounded and encourages me to seek the help I need when necessary.  I'm so lucky and blessed to have so many angels that have come into my life and given me different things.  They say that God places people in our lives for a reason, a season and a lifetime.  While I've had some seasonal friends through the years that have made an impact on me, almost all of the people I've talked about here are the ones I cherish for a lifetime.  Only Andrea is no longer part of my life but I will always remember and miss her.  As you read this I challenge you to take stock of the angels in your life.  Keep them close to you and know that they are there for a reason, whether it's for a season or a lifetime.  Just because there are no wings and halos present doesn't mean they aren't angels.  Maybe you are an angel for someone else.  I've often wondered if I've ever had the same impact on others and these folks have had on me.  I used to think it would be such a gift to look at life as if I'd never been born, just like in It's a Wonderful Life.  What a powerful message it would be to see how your life impacts others.  Because of my many issues and problems over the years I feel as though I haven't been as good a friend to others as they have been to me, but I try as hard as I can to remember that I might bring joy and love to someone else when they need it the most.  I fall short of this goal all the time but these angels have not given up on me.  I love them all in measure that cannot be quantified; I just hope that it shows and they know how much these friendships have meant and continue to mean to me!