Grounding

Too often in life we are preoccupied with the future, often things we have no control over that increase stress, anxiety and/or depression.  Even current circumstances we can't do anything about in the moment cause us to keep ourselves from experiencing happiness.  We worry and fret about work or other obligations and get caught up in overthinking things to the point that we are completely distracted from the here and now.  The picture to the left graphically illustrates this point.  A dog lives for the moment he's in while, as humans, we get lost in what's to come and therefore miss out on the happiness of simply being.  I'm not suggesting that there's not a time and place for planning ahead or thinking about the future by any means; but how often do we truly savor the moment we are in and simply enjoy life?  In group we talk a lot about mindfulness and being present or grounded in the here and now and getting away from the thought distortions dealing with what's to come, like catastrophizing, mind reading or fortune telling.  So many things can't be dealt with in the moment or in advance, and minimizing worry and stress about them is a vital tool in exercising mindfulness.  There are all kinds of techniques and skills we can use to ground and center us.  I'm reminded of a scene in one of my favorite Sigourney Weaver films, Copycat, where she plays an extremely agoraphobic psychiatrist and profiler of serial killers who can't leave her own home.  When she has a severe panic attack she recites, in chronological order, the presidents of the United States in order to bring herself down and back to reality.  I can't even begin to do that myself, but it illustrates one way to push away those thoughts and feelings that keep us from experiencing happiness.  For some of us, myself included, it can be exceptionally difficult to push these thoughts and emotions aside and become grounded in the here and now.  I'll share a couple of skills I'm learning to use when I find myself becoming overwhelmed about current circumstances or the future.  Maybe you'll find them as useful as I have.

The first technique I found to be beneficial is using guided meditation.  I don't have the best attention span and when I've tried things like progressive relaxation myself I find my mind wanders too much and I have a hard time staying focused.  Guided meditation allows someone else to take the reigns in walking you through the steps.  Youtube has some great meditations and there are numerous apps that can be downloaded as well.  Listening to someone else guide me through a meditation makes it easier for me to maintain focus and concentration on the moment and keeps my thoughts from drifting.  There are many meditations available that focus on something specific, such as self esteem or anxiety for example; but many of them are just general relaxation and mindfulness oriented so it just comes down to a matter of taste.  Another skill I'm learning is the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method that utilizes the five senses to place me in the moment and it's a pretty easy technique to put into practice.  You basically focus on five things you can see, four things you can physically feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.  As you run through the process it's helpful to say the things out loud, again to prevent the mind from wandering.  The nice thing about this skill is that it can be done anywhere and anytime, though people might notice you talking to yourself if you're in a public crowded space, so whispering might be in order.  I tried to practice this while I was at my sister's place on Thanksgiving since there was a lot of stimuli to take in, sights and smells, and especially interacting with their dog Finn and snuggling with him on the couch.  It helped me to avoid thinking about my anxiety and depression and allowed me to enjoy my time there.  One of the things I've been trying on my own is praying the rosary.  While unpacking one of my boxes I came across the rosaries I have collected and I thought this might be a good way to ground and center myself.  This wouldn't work if you aren't a religious person, but for me there is great comfort in reciting these prayers.  Again, there are Youtube videos and apps that help me with this since I have such a tendency toward drifting off in thought; but the nice thing about doing so is that it involves the sense of touch as well as saying the prayers. Progressing through the beads with each prayer and mystery is very tactile and helps with focus and concentration as well.  I challenge you, especially with all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, to spend some time being grounded in the here and now.  Take some time out to enjoy the moment.  Take a break from the news of the day or that ever present social media tug.  Even if you don't live with depression and anxiety, can't we all use some time being as happy as that dog is who's just simply enjoying being present with his human?